Some people cling on to that old adage that ‘the customer is always right’.
You may be right to think that.
Maybe.
But if ‘right’ includes being damn well rude, well then I’d rather not fly the flag for that expression and…well…engage with customers who do.
Some prospective clients can be nothing short of cheeky scamps - and because the copywriter-client relationship must work well for both parties, here are a few things I don’t advise you say to the copywriter you’re so desperate to work with…
“My usual copywriter will write 500 words for £XX’
Yes - and there’s probably a pretty good reason your ‘usual copywriter’ isn’t available right now.
Perhaps it’s because:
a) their rate is so blinking low that they’re rushed off their feet with work
b) they’ve realised they’ve now been in the game long enough to charge a bit more - and perhaps they’re doing just that.
Not all copywriters charge the same - and for all kinds of reasons.
True, you may have a good deal with your current copywriter, but if he or she ain’t free, don’t expect another copywriter to drop their rates because that’s what you’re used to.
You wouldn’t saunter into Morrisons and tell ‘em you usually get that punnet of peaches* cheaper at Sainsbury’s, but you can’t today because ‘they’re currently out of stock’. Or…you know…something or other.
Bear that in mind when you’re thinking about asking we copywriters to drop our rates.
*Not sure why I’m comparing copywriting to peaches, but I’ll have a go…
Some peaches are expensive, some are cheaper. But when you find a quality punnet that’s excellent value, realise you’re onto a good thing and that the price could - and will - eventually rise. Mistreat a punnet of peaches and the fruit will bruise - just like a copywriter’s ego would if you were to do the same to he or she. Sob. And no-one likes a bruised peach. Or a copywriter with a bruised ego.
Okay, so I did wonder if I’d be able to compare copy to peaches. Turns out I’m crap at analogies. But I tell you what, I REALLY fancy a punnet of peaches now. With a dollop of cream.
‘We’re looking to engage a copywriter regularly, but first we need you to write 5,000 words on ‘XXXX’ - for FREE.’
No. Absolutely not.
It’s like this…
Would you say to a tradesman (or woman…cos I’m all about equality round here) ‘just knock me up half a wall for nowt and I’ll decide if I want you to build the extension on my house based on your work’.
Or worse still: ‘I’m liaising with a few builders at the moment and I’m asking them all to knock up, say, a quarter of a wall, before I decide which wall I prefer’.
Jog on. Please.
Sometimes - but probably only if we’re massively keen to work with you - copywriters might submit a sample line or two of content before we ‘win’ a job.
It isn’t something I necessarily agree with (or am always thrilled about - after all, there are plenty of examples of my work here), but if a client has a mountain of paid work to send our way later, call it a very mini ‘interview’ for the job.
Any more than that, though, and you’re probably going to get my goat.
‘We can’t pay you, but it’ll be great for your portfolio’
My portfolio is absolutely blinking brimming with stuff - and good stuff at that.
I don’t (and absolutely won’t) write for your start-up (or household name, for that matter) for free…to ‘prove’ myself.
Pah. Bore off.
‘Ring me’
This was a genuine text I received from a would-be client a few weeks ago - after he rang me at 8pm on a Friday night. I didn’t answer, of course.
I rarely pick up work-related calls outside of 9am to 5pm hours, unless a client is on deadline and is in urgent need of something. We all need downtime, after all.
Otherwise, I’m available for my clients during standard office hours.
This particular client had called me a couple of times about jobs that hadn’t materialised, though - so he was already on the backfoot a bit.
The ‘ring me’ text sounded like an order to me - and I left a full-time job years ago, because if I’m taking orders from anyone, it’ll be from myself.
‘Lauren, get the kettle on and cut yourself another slice of cake - now there’s a good employee’.
‘This should only take 10 minutes’
There’s a tendency to think that putting together content with fewer words means it’ll take less time. That isn’t the case.
A strapline may only contain a handful of words at best - but that doesn’t necessarily mean your copywriter can ‘bash it out’ any quicker than they might, say, a 1,000-word whitepaper.
We work with words every day - and our extensive experience means that so much more than time has gone into that piece of copy, however short it is.
Ask yourself this: what’s that winning slogan worth to you?
A good strapline is worth its weight in gold for a brand.
Hear or see the words: ‘Just do it’ and you know I’m talking about Nike. When ‘I’m lovin’ it’ pops into your head, you no doubt want to jump in your car and get in the drive-through queue for a Big Mac.
Don’t underestimate what your copywriter can do for your business - and don’t assume you know how long something will take. We copywriters are humans too, you know ***sad face*** and we don’t like it when you, in a roundabout way, tell us how much something is worth based on how long you think it’ll take.
So, as I’ve told you what I don’t like…why not let rip, too; what has a copywriter said to you that you’re not so keen on? It’s only fair you share.
Oh, and if you need a Yorkshire copywriter to work on a project or two, say hello.
Until next time…